Biggest Joke on the Planet


The plight of Somalia is a joke. No, I have not lost my mind or abandoned my idealism. The fact is, it bothers me to see few people cause so much suffering and deaths. I still don’t understand why there is a civil war in Somalia. In every other civil war there is now, we can point to a cause – say, Darfur=oil, Iraq=oil, Congo=natural resources like diamonds and other gems, and so on. However, I really don’t understand what Somalis are fighting over. Did I miss some oil or diamond discovery in Somalia? Or is it that Somali politicians are the worst kind of human beings? Why can’t these tribes, clans, subsclans…get along just for the sake of their self-preservation? Or is it more lucrative to keep fighting over nothing, hate over over nothing, destroy each other over nothing? What is going on here?

I don’t want to go extreme right-wing nutcase here, but I’m inclined to agree with the argument of not sending any help to Somalis rotting in and around Mogadishu because we are our own very worst enemy, and as such, sending millions of dollars into Somalia as an Aid so the monstrous warlords, including Bush and Zenawi’s handpicked octogenarian head of warlords, can continue to savagely destroy what is left of Somalia. Nor do I want to see the destructive clannish bullshit politics weather away whatever solidarity that was left, if there were any to begin with.

A report released by the U.N. earlier this week described Somalia as the world’s worst humanitarian crisis, even worst than the guilty-filled Westerner’s favorite, Sudan. It turns out that sending Somalia’s worst outside enemy to Somalia was just what the doctor ordered – how genius! Funny though, this is the same organization that blessed Ethiopia and Bush to go ahead and invade Somalia but when they realized that they made a poo-poo, they write a damn report. But my favorite bit about this report is the awesome admission of the U.N. itself that, yes, the Union of Islamic Courts were guys that were useful. In an interview with the New York Times earlier this week, U.N. Somali Director Erich Laroche, “now concede that the country was in better shape during the brief reign of Somalia’s Islamist movement last year”. Mr. Laroche admits, “It was more peaceful, and much easier for us to work,” Mr. Laroche said. “The Islamists didn’t cause us any problems.” It is funny that these over-paid knuckle heads can’t figure out the simplest problem. Somalia never needed a damn peace-keeping nor did Somalia ever needed damn warlords as leaders. Yet, the West continues to believe in warlords as the future of Somalia. Although it doesn’t help to have continues infighting for position of leadership.

I mean, what is so attractive about a leadership post in Somalia? There is no resources to leech or live in luxurious lifestyle from public funds. Perhaps I’m missing something here. There must be something that these clans value soooo much more than their own people’s welfare. As the ‘new’ Prime Minister was announced today, who is apparently from the Abgal clan to replace the recently fired Mohamed Ali Gedi, the Habergedir clan -an important clan in Mogadishu, automatically announced that they will not be supporting this new PM, even though he hasn’t been to Somalia since 1991 and have no blood on his hands…just because he is from Abgal. I mean, I would understand if they just said; “We won’t support this PM because this so-called government is illegitimate to begin with.” But no, their explanation was that this post should have been theirs. What? Why does it have to be clan thing when the government is just plain illegitimate? Man, I don’t understand Somali politics or Somali clan affiliation. However, I do understand that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how terribly stupid it is to put clan affiliation above everything else in life. It just seems mind-blowingly primitive. More importantly, it is the ultimate self-destructive tool that the rest of the world long ago abandoned. Maybe Somali will get to that in, say, 2057? I can’t wait!!


PS: This isn’t a thesis or some important manifesto. It is just my 2 cent on what is going on in Somalia so please don’t write me ‘I hate you’ or ‘you are traitor.’ I already feel that so I don’t need someone else telling me such a thing.


Categories: Africa Related, Somalia | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Biggest Joke on the Planet

  1. Abdi from somalia

    I would like to inform the writer of this article that he has no real clue about the recent past situation in somalia and the present situation in somalia.

    Just last year, a group of somali business men and teachers became tired of warlord rule, so they instruted the people to rise up and fight the war lords, thats when the real somali government was born i.e the Union of islamic courts, they were the ones that drove out the hated warlords and opened the schools, hospitals and airports and habours of somalia.
    The UIC became extremely popular in somalia as they gave peace and stability to the country.

    But guess what the dreams of the somali people would not last, the Bush administartion said that the would not accept the islamic courts because they were too islamic in the way that they were running the country and then immediately began telling the dicator of ethiopia to invade somalia and destroy the govermnt of somalia and bring back the hated warlords back to power which they now named themslves the TFG.

    The ethiopian dictator invaded somalia because he was the same guy that supported various warlords in somalia to keep the country at war, when he noticed that he’s spys were chased out he then decided to invade somalia ofcourse with american support and money.

    Now the situation in somalia is that the TFG warlords have been refused by the somali people as a governmnet, the ethiopians have been daily hit, so they started commiting genocide agianst the somali people, now u have the capital city of somali destroyed completely, it has actually become a ghost city, u have 1. 5 million somalis that ran away from the capital city, from the ethiopian genocide, they now have no food, no clean water and no shelter.

    So please do not blame us somalis, we tried our best to chase these warlords out, but it seems we have too many enemies and haters that wish us to perish i.e the americans and ethiopians.

    We will only complain to God

  2. Abdi from somalia

    Also for those of you that judge us somalis and put the blame on us, and then tell the world that we are a joke, please be more educated and now those that are really responsible for our plight.

    Everyone please watch this video for background information on whats happened and happening in somalia, thank you.

    This video shows the stability and peace that the Islamic government has given to us somalis

    The real joke that the writer should have written abt is the western nations screaming and crying abt the genocide in Darfur yet in the same time they are committing a massive genocide against the somali people.

    Even the useless UN that seem’s to work for imperialism of the united states was shocked itself to see the massive genocide in somalia that they have said that the situation in somalia is much worse than Darfur itself.
    China and iran must be laughing at the bush administration that talks abt the genocide in darfur yet the are responsible for a greater genocide.

    The writer should know that somalia is a strategically placed country which is a curse for the somali people.

    What happened to international law. i mean what gave the right for Ethiopian military to invade somalia, why is the UN so silent and why is the so called international media (western media so silent) the fact is that they are so shamed and just wish to have the whole thing put under the carpet.

  3. Om


    I don’t think you’ve read my blog before because if you did, you’d find that I’m quite aware what’s going on in the Horn. Also, as an objective observer, I cannot just give ourselves (Somalis) a pass on whatever is happening and has happened in Somalia because, let’s be honest, if clan bullshit didn’t exist, Ethiopia wouldn’t dare invade Somalia. Remember that Ethiopia was partially invited by the TFG which is comprised of clans that either supported or didn’t support it but still stayed in the so called “Transitional Federal Government” which in turn gave legitimacy to what Bush, Zenawi, and Yusuf were doing i.e. violate Somalia’s sovereignty.

    To sum up my point:

    1. It was clan bullshit that prevented Somalis from developing a government because the big boys i.e. big tribes/clans all want to be in charge so no compromise even if their fellow Somalis are dying by the hundreds of thousands.
    2. Contrary to your assertion, the Union of Islamic courts were NOT supported everywhere in Somalia. In fact, their base of support was limited to Mogadisho and its surroundings. Again, even the UIC were mainly clan-driven associations – not a fair and inclusive as Islam requires. Nonetheless, they had my support and would wish them to come back, but this time more inclusive to every Somali, as well as sticking to the bigger picture i.e. bringing peace, uniting all Somalis under the umbrella of Islam without going Al-Itihad or Al-Qaeda ideology on the people and creating a truly central government that is based on merit and not on clan-affiliations.
    3. By looking at my above allegations, Abdi, you have to admit that we Somalis are partially to be blamed for our brothers and sister’s plight in Somalia for the last 18 years. So yes, the blame partially does indeed fall on us Somalis while the other half falls on outside forces. So take your pick.


    I like this article, and i agree with my heart.but bro don’t blame somali women . Somali mans they don’t know anything about political. but we have allah to help us .

  5. Om

    Somali women ought to not be blamed but in the larger picture, every Somali, with the exception of little children, are complicit in whatever has happened to Somalia because the heart of the Somali civil war is clan. Until we all abandon clan as the centerpiece of our lives, then Somalia will just be as bad and sad state as it has been for the last 18 years. We either choose Somalia and start a new era or stick to our clan addiction and say goodbye to Somalia – the country.

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