Satire

Dictators’ Club Annual Meeting

This is an imagined club meeting of dictators so take it with a grain of salt.

*****

“Order! Order! Please, take your seats so we can begin our meeting” MC Gaddafi calmly announced. “We have a full agenda and the sooner we get started the quicker we’ll all go home,” he continued. “As you may have heard, and I don’t blame you if you haven’t, brother Ben Ali and brother Hosni have been…how should I put it…overthrown. Apparently, ‘overthrowing’ our fellow brothers has become all the rage these days. Therefore, today’s agenda will mostly be about how to prevent these so-called ‘revolutions’ from taking place in our domains. We’ve also lined up experts to help you launder all that money to safe offshore accounts in case you’re worried you might be overthrown soon. And then at the end of the meeting, we’ll have refreshments, pizza, raffles and share the latest party tips! “

Categories: Satire | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

Rallying for Sanity and Other Stuff

To say that I don’t like politics is understatement. Yet, I spend most of my day reading and dissecting politics, domestic or international. I observe, never participate – not because I feel superior or that I’m lazy to participate but because I see no point in wasting my time or energy in putting my hopes or desires into politicians. However antagonistic I feel about politics, I also deeply believe that people must participate in politics if they want to change things around them.

I just came back from the much publicized Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear organized by Jon Stewart of the Daily Show and Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report, two shows that I regularly watch. It was not my expectation of participating in politics that I went to Washington, DC but precisely that it was not about politics. I’ve lived long enough in this great country to know that sanity has become a rare commodity in political or even social discourse. It is ironic that two comedians had to call for sanity and reasonableness in rejection of hyperbolic partisan language and screaming matches on the increasingly malicious and useless 24-hour TV cable “news”.

And I found that there are a lot of people who feel as I do.  The rally brought so many different people, from across all walks of life, of race, religion and ethnicity. The rally itself wasn’t really a rally but a big party – music performances, comedy skits, live parodies. The most political thing, if anyone would classify it as political, was Stewart pleading with those in politics and the news media to stop creating a non-existent fear and conflict through divisive language and simply insane rhetoric. I was truly amazed at the diverse lineup of musical acts that performed, including the incredible band The Roots, John Legend, Yusuf Islam, Ozzy Osborne, Kid Rock, Cheryl Crowe, Mavis Maple and Jeff Tweedy. As Stewart brought Yusuf Islam to perform his classic, “Peace Train,” Colbert interrupted Yusuf halfway the song to bring Ozzy Osborne as a counterpoint against Stewart’s ‘sanity’ plea by making Osborne perform a heavy-metal song that included the lyrics “the train is going to derail.” Classic Stewart-Colbert moment, with Yusuf Islam and Ozzy Osborne as the symbol of sanity and fear, respectively.

Like any visitor to the Capital, I had to go to the obligatory places of historical and/or contemporary significance. But I was lucky to have my college mate living in the center of the city and I spent most of Sunday bike riding around downtown area to get an incredible view of the city like a local. Pictures should suffice!

DC, Je T’aime.

Categories: Media, politics, Satire | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

How to Interrogate Pirates

wpid-4298601004_f687732412_o-ac4nmdgszv9b.jpg
Courtesy of War is Boring blog, Dave Axe

Categories: Satire | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Nation of Andorra Not in Africa, Shocking!

Categories: Satire | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Negative Attacks

In what seems to be an escalating war of words, Chemistry.com (online dating site) has started running a new negative ad against eharmony.com, the leading online dating site. In the ad, chemistry.com accuses eharmony.com of “rejecting people looking for love based on their appearances and personality,” which of course is the standard measure of a human being in the increasingly shallow online dating game. In its counterattack, eharmony.com held a news conference Friday in which it accused its rival chemistry.com of “distorting the facts” and “cheap shots.”

Called for comments, the CEO of chemistry.com Mike Smith said, “I’ve been asking eharmony.com to debate us for the last three months and have yet to get a response,” then he continued saying, “They know we have a better platform for hopeless people to find romance and if they accept to debate us, we’ll kick their ass.” Spokesman for eharmony.com immediately shot back saying, “We’ve already debated them 20 times so they’re just being sore losers.” According to John Smith (no relation), an expert online dating, “eharmony is now the leader in online dating in terms of ubiquitous commercials and happy stories, so it’s in their interest to maintain that facade,” as if fake commercials weren’t enough signs of weakness. However, he conceded that eharmony.com is just being a “pussy” for not accepting the debates.

Whether eharmony.com will accept the debate or not, only time will tell if chemistry.com’s negative attacks is working. For now, eharmony.com continues to annoy everyone who watches TV.

Categories: Satire | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Suicide Vests

The good folks at The Onion News Network debate a new Iraqi law requiring 5-day wait period for the purchase of suicide vests because lawmakers “want to make sure only responsible individuals blow themselves up.” After all, free people have the right to blow themselves up! Also, it is not a good idea to take your suicide vest with you when participating in kerosene-soaked American flag burning (just a suggestion).

P.S. This is a satire and is not intended for serious consumption. If you find yourself angry or disturbed by the end of the video, call your doctor or psychiatrist or whatever.

Categories: Entertainment, Funny/Odd, Satire | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: